I've been busy sorting out my office following a flying shelf that emptied my books all over the room and part of that sorting involved temporarily boxing some stuff. Old photos naturally surfaced and Jack wandered whilst I was looking at some pictures of my late friend Pete Barker. I told Jack that Pete was my best friend and that he was now a star in the sky like mummy. He said to me don't worry you'll see him again. I found myself choked at this simple but true statement.
Later I was reading him his bedtime story when he asked if he could sleep on my knee. I sit on a bean bag while I read him his story so I didn't want to encourage him falling asleep on me because I'd struggle putting him into bed without waking him, but Jack being Jack pestered me, and me being me, relented and he curled up on my knee. I was soon to find out why he made this unusual request.
He started asking questions about his mummy. We began to talk about why mummy died. He asked why do people die when they go into hospital (we took Jack this week after he fell off his bike). I said not everybody dies in hospital. He said but mummy died in that hospital. Then with a quivering lip he told me he missed his mummy. He told me how seeing Peggy (my mum who has Parkinson's and is wheelchair bound) reminded him of mummy. He asked when she would die. He also said that he knew I wanted to see my mum but that he didn't because of how she reminded him of his mummy. He then told me he was looking forward to seeing his mummy again. He has such a clear concept of death and the separation that results from losing a loved one. He also seems to be aware that we will meet again in the sky when we go to meet Jesus. My heart bleeds for our little man who so clearly told me that he would always be with me. I pray God will give him peace and allow him to grieve in the best way he knows how.