Dark times ...

It's difficult to even post anything at the moment, but I'll try. I promised myself that I would keep this blog a bit like a diary online, but circumstances have made me have to stand back and think for a considerable time about how to discuss exactly what's going on without revealing personnel details.

I find myself experiencing an emotion I appear to have been shielded from, even though I believed I experienced it before. Hate! The burning desire for justice, retribution and, yes, revenge. These have got to be the most powerful emotions I've ever felt. I've found myself questioning God and where He was. I felt that I could never play an instrument again and considered quitting teaching as a result (good job I need money to buy food otherwise I would be jobless and in prison now). I have ceased writing songs for the present, even though one is in progress. I'm not really sure what I believe at the moment. I find myself plotting revenge in my weaker hours. I pray that this hatred will subside. But part of me won't let it rest. Really I shouldn't be writing this stuff, but it feels better get it out into the open.

This is not written to provoke a response from whoever may read it. It is an outpouring of my personnel feelings for the benefit of my blog should I or anyone else need to draw consolation from at a future date. If you do feel you would like to respond I would prefer it if you email me.

For now I will write no more, but the story continues ...

My Tanglewood

My Guitar. One of the bessie buys I've ever made. It's a Tanglewood TW55N - DLX handcrafted guitar with a Shadow P7 in-bridge pick-up. As a jumbo guitar it's quite large, which suits me, cos I'm not small. It has a really rich tone acoustically, I've yet to master the amplified tone, although the graphic on the pick-up is quite good. How's that for techno stuff. Simply put - I love it. It plays soooo well.
If you want to hear it the best recording I've done with it is Sacrifice of praise. (not very quick for dial-up sorry)