I really must post here more often. I been a bit wrapped up in myself recently and as a result haven't really felt like posting here. It comes back to ambitions and dreams and the frustration invovled when they are apparently unobtainable. Yes, I've always wamted to be a singer songwriter who is recognised and respected in the business. I've always known it doesn't work like that, so I just keep plugging on. Every door that seemingly opened was rapidly slammed shut in my face in all walks of music making for various reasons. And taht includes in Christians circles as well. I guess I'm not knocking on the right door. But one things for sure, I'll never stop knocking.
The most recent let down has been turning down a job as a professional bass player for a years work. It was mine for the taking, but it wasn't to be. Every circumstance pointed to the fact that, as much as I wanted it and was wanted to do the job, it would have caused more problems than it was worth. Don't get me wrong, I love playing. I never feel more alive than when I'm performing for a big audience. The biggest so far, as a bass player, is 14,000 at the Killerton Festival (Will Young was there the next day). So to turn it down made me feel like I had been bereaved.
So on with life. I have realised something through this experience. Whilst I've been complaining and wallowing in self-pity about teaching at school, I have not been honouring my God, my wife or my family. I have been causing hurt by people worrying about me and the decisions I might make and have not demonstrated respect to my management. So this term I have decided to put that right. I still intend to write my songs. I'm in the process of re-recording some of them and recording a song that isn't listed.
So there it is ..... back to school. Who knows the future, or what this life will bring.