Is Jesus still in the manger?

If I could be granted one miracle, it would be that the expectancy of Christmas would fill the air every day:

• the excitement of children eagerly waiting for Santa to come
• the renewed friendships fuelled by seasonal love
• glistening lights and delicate decorations perfectly positioned in each house, shop or street
• so much food that your belly aches at just the thought of it
• special gifts for everyone, poshly wrapped in pretty paper
• guessing which Bond film would send dad to sleep, contented after a mountain of food.

So much excitement and so many memories.

My childhood memories of Christmas with my family are still special to me. I remember each one with joy. It's funny how you grow used to things and create your own family traditions. I grew so used to doing things in a certain way that I expected to see or hear things from my past at Christmas time. But the day dad left home Christmas was never the same again. I suddenly realised that I couldn't rely on just family traditions for Christmas anymore, because my family wasn't complete. By now my brother, David, had a girlfriend and often did a vanishing trick for hours on end. Mum soldiered on, but I could feel her anguish and guilt, even though her only crime was loving that great big confused dad of mine.

Meanwhile, in my search for a hiding place, I began to notice how other people behaved at Christmas. I discovered the joy of buying gifts for other people. I delighted in the smiles of complete strangers wishing me happy Christmas. The shopkeepers were more helpful and even arch-enemies at school took the time to scrawl merry Christmas on a jolly card.

Was it me or had the whole world changed overnight? And why were they so happy?

I remember walking to town from our house. Everyday I would pass the cemetery; at the bottom, near the gate, stood an empty wooden cross. On it was a mottled brass plate with the inscription, "Is it nothing to you, all you who pass by?" I thought back then, "Shouldn't that have been taken down at Easter? . . . Why is it here at Christmas?" But gradually it helped me to rediscover the babe in a manger. It was easy to keep him there. I felt more in control that way. Every now and then I'd let Him out of the manger and rediscover His childhood stories, like when He got told off by His mum and dad for hiding in the temple; or I'd relive the story my RE teacher told me, about how He healed little sparrows. When I felt more adventurous, I'd let Him perform a few miracles, like making alcoholic water or spitting in people's eyes. I used to think what strange habits this man Jesus had.

Still the words were calling to me. "Is it nothing to you?" Did I really know the baby that would become Jesus? John tells us that 'The Word became flesh and dwelt among us'.

Whether we are Jew, Greek, Gentile or Yellow Belly the WORD is the reason we exist. The word is God. And, as I get older, Jesus continues to get bigger than me and I can't fit Him into the manger anymore. I think about the stable and I remember the scriptures describing a great king with terrible armies, living in a palace. The King was born in a stable, homeless. His only attendants a loving mother exhausted from the birth and a bewildered Joseph, knowing this child was not his own, but God's. I think about these things and the blunt reality of the Christmas story hits me right between the eyes. If Jesus was born today, would His stable be the cardboard cities or would we make room for the King? Would we believe the shepherds heard His angels or would we lock them up in the loony bin and pretend they'd seen a UFO?

How many people cherish the air of expectancy of Christmas time and don't know the person who it's all about? We all teach kids about Santa and baby Jesus, but are we really going to leave Jesus in the manger at Christmas and pack Him away with the decorations in the new year. Or, are we prepared to unwrap the greatest gift that God has given us and recognise that Jesus IS real?

He felt joy, pain, sadness, anger, love, worry, temptation, betrayal and loneliness. He ate and drank, slept and worked, bled and died, just like us. But Jesus is alive today and that is what we should be celebrating this Christmas. He is interested in us. He wants to share everything with us and wants us to learn to know and trust Him. Isn't it time we put Christ back into Christmas?

I love Christmas with all its trimmings and joy. But I will never forget that empty cross and hope I will never pass by saying it means nothing to me. I know the baby is a man and the man is, was and always will be Emmanuel, God with us. In Jesus God has given us a truly astounding gift this and every Christmas.

If you could be granted one miracle this Christmas, what would it be?

In the name of the father

Ever wondered about how we see God as a father? I can imagine that for some people this is a very strange request. The school where I teach has an enormous amount of dis-functional families, many with one-parent, but equally as many whose parents are remarried or seperated. I wonder how those children see the image of God the father. I know of fathers who have rejected their children, ignored their children, insulted their children, openly declared hate for their children and, even, abused their children. But equally I know of fathers who love their children, cherish their children, who would give their lives for their children, even though the law says they can't see their children. I wonder how those children feel. I wonder what they think when they're told about father God.


My own experience of an earthly father is a mixed one, but not as tragic as some of the children I teach. My father left us when I was too young to remember him. I never knew him and never will. Do I feel angry about that? Not really. Do I feel rejected? Of course - I would be lying if I said otherwise. Am I sad that I never met him? A little. He died last year and my brother and I were asked if we wanted to go to the funeral. Do you know what question crossed both of our minds? What did he die from? We were more interested in our potential medical history. Doctors always ask that question. Is their any history of 'such and such' in the family. Sometimes I get tired of saying I don't know sometimes I just say no. What difference does it really make anyway. So my 'real' dad was never on the scene. One day I found out that I was adopted by the man I called dad. I carry his name not the name of my paternal father. I wonder how it sounds sometimes - Steve Poole. I wonder if he ever loved me. I wonder if he loved his new family. I wonder how my mum felt when he left her and two young children.

Mum eventually remarried to a man called Gerald. I worshipped him. He was strong, confident, popular, everything I wanted to be. He worked hard for us, provided a home for us, discilplined us and taught us right from wrong. We moved from Stoke to his home town of Cheadle and I felt isolated. I had so many friends in Abbey Hulton. But children are children and we adapted. They created a home for us. Sometimes it felt like the home was more important than us, but it ended up being a beautiful home, until it was finished. About ten years it took to renovate, bit by bit and when it was nearly done the man I worshipped walked out on us for a younger woman. A younger woman who he had a child with. Can a man only be a father to a child that shares his genes? He seemed to be doing a pretty good job with us for a while.

So I have personally ever had a problem with the image of God as a father? I can honestly say never. I suppose I had enough experience of a father. So when I call on father God I call on all the best things I know about a father. I know what a good father should be and do. I know my father God loves me first and foremost. I know he loves me enough to discipline me when I step out of line, which I often do, even if it hurts. I know he will protect me when the going gets too tough. I know he will never leave me. I know he will always give me good things, but not things that I think are good for me, things that actually ARE good for me.

So what about the view that the image of father God doesn't belong in todays world? I would say that it does. Because this world needs a father who loves, cherishes, cares for, disciplines and never lets his children down. Every man dreams of being the ideal father. God is that ideal father. He's even bought us a house. Ok that's a bit flippant, but it's true. He loves us so much that he has prepared a place for us to share with him. If I sound like I'm preaching I don't appologise. I want to share my father God with everyone who may read this. I want to tell you that if your experience of a father has been nothing but bad, then God can teach what a father should really be. The best part of it is, that father God is always waiting for us to come home no matter what we've done. He's always ready to forgive our mistakes. Sounds too good to be tue doesn't it? So why not try it and see for yourself.

15 years and still growing

If anyone had ever told me that I'd meet my perfect wife and continue to grow in love for her sixteen years ago, I wouldn't have believed them. But I have and I did. God blessed me with a beautiful and loving wife who has stood by me throughout many trials and tests over the last fifteen years. It's no cliche that it's not been an easy ride, because it hasn't. Neither is a cliche that our love for each other continues to grow stronger and deeper. Priorities change but love remains.

This year is also a first for us. It's the first time we've celebrated our anniversary as a family. So our anniversary treat was a visit to the Embassy Centre, Skegness to watch Tractor Tom with Jack. It was a brilliant show and Jack was enthralled from beginning to end. It's such a joy to watch his smile. Then our usual anniversary meal was at The Sun Castle so we could watch Jack play in an amazing play area. He got stuck once - honest!- so I had to go in and rescue him and promptly got lost myself.

So now it's the end of another lovely day and I pray Tamara and I will share many more years together with Jack as a family and continue to be blessed.

New Priorities

It seems an eternity since I posted any news on here, and yet so much has happened. July 11th was a monumentous day for Tamara and I and has completely changed my outlook on my life and responsibilities.
We are now very proud guardians of Jack. In the midst of our grief it is a joy to welcome this new member to our family. He is a joy. We both feel so privileged to be able to share our lives with him until he is 18 and hopefully from then on. Steph has left us a fantastic legacy and we will never let him forget his mummy or how much she loved him.

As a result after much thought and prayer and advice I have decided that my main ministry for the forseeable future has to be dealing with the grief of losing Steph tied in with the massive change we face welcoming Jack completely into our lives. So my music ministry is officially 'on-hold' until I feel it is time to return. The new CD will wait.

Abundant blessings
Steve

Stephanie

Thursday was a very sad day. These words are so hard to write. After three and a half years my 'sis' (Tamara's sister) died from the cancer that she had battled so valiantly. She was so much more than I ever knew. Even in her darkest hours she was caring for others in need without complaint for herself or moaning about the excrutiating pain she suffered.

She leaves behind a miracle child who she never got chance to run and play with, but loved so dearly. Little Jack was 10 weeks old when she was first diagnosed. He tells us mummy has gone to the stars and says goodnight to her at night. My heart breaks each time he says it.

Sleep well Steph. You are no longer in pain and I know we'll meet again in heaven. Goodbye my special 'sis'

I created a Slide Show! Check it out!

US Tour 2006

A bit of a grand title I know, but it's exactly what it was for me. My first trip to the States was ushered in by the grace of God against all the odds. It has long been a dream of mine to visit America, but I would have never guessed it would be visiting a new group of friends and playing songs that I have composed about our awesome God. So whether it was four days or forty, to me it was a tour and a priviledge to be invited.

The trip consisted of three appearances organised by my good friend J. Brian Hill, intermingled with a taste of American culture, all sandwiched between a journey through the time zones. Brian and his family are excellent hosts and have a beautiful home. They made me more than welcome and carried me through one of those 'firsts' in my life.

Friday began early with an airport experience I would rather forget. I got off at the wrong terminal and had to rush from one side of the airport to the other. A smooth flight led to a smooth passage through passport and a welcome greeting by Brian and Beau. Then the eating began!!! Chinese take away at Panda Express was my first experience of just how very different our two worlds are. I will never see a large coke in the same light again. That evening I saw the Kane County Cougars with Brian and his family along with Kurt Hermes and his family. An excellent way to keep me awake and fascinating entertainment.

Saturday was a big day for Bailey, Brian's eldest son, who had been selected to go to the state meet of Illinois Young Authors after writing an excellent story. We travelled through towns that looked like film sets to me on the straightest roads I've ever seen. Whilst Bailey was busy I was treated to Cracker Barrel cuisine, a fabulous breakfast and an introduction to biscuits and gravy. After that we spent an hour or so in the University grounds writing a song about the Garden of Gethsemane. The afternoon began with the most unpleasant experience I had whilst in America. I ended up with a very poorly tummy and had to watch others eat a delicious looking Barbeque shared by the Hermes Clan. This made the first performance at Ragamuffins all the more interesting for me. I remember thinking that two sets of 45 minutes seemed incredibly long, but it turned out that I could easily have done more. God blessed me so much even though I didn't really deserve it. The coffee house was packed for the most part and members from other churches joined the good folk from Sanctuary.

Sunday was to be a hectic day. An early start and preparation for worship at Sanctuary A/G, Batavia, my host church, with the opportunity for performance during the morning worship. In addition I was allowed to join the worship team playing guitar. It was an excellent experience. So many people were so gracious in sharing with me. Afterwards was Sunday school. This was unusual fro me since only our children attend Sunday School. At Sanctuary, Sunday School is for everyone in the church. Lunchtime was Portillos and an exquisite burger (if there could possibly be such a thing). Concert on the Hill loomed. The big event!!! We did an extensive sound check to eliminate any gliches and prepared for an enjoyable evening. Brian had the St. Georges flag flying and we were ready. Mr. G Juggler opened the proceedings with a daring display of juggling. The I was able to perform for a rather chilly group of people and despite some technical problems all went well. It was both an honour and a joy to share my songs and a time of worship with an wonderfully receptive audience. The evening was rounded of at Steak 'n' Shake and some fond farewells to the Hermes family.

Monday, the final day, began with Brian's daily routine and I got to visit Bailey's school the week before they broke for the summer vacation. The read of the morning was spent shopping and relaxing chez Hill. All in all the weekend will forever remain in my memory for so many good reasons. I learnt so much about myself and how I currently fit into the life of the church. I have invitations to return in the future both as friends and performers. But most of all I have been able to serve my God in a tangible way whilst developing strong friendship bonds. When asked what were the highlights I had to answer, "All of it" because that's the truth. to single out one moment would be virtually impossible. The only thing I didn't enjoy (apart from the poorly tummy) was missing my wife, Tamara so much.

I thank God for making the way for me to share in in America to have met so many wonderful people. I long for the day when I may return (with Tamara of course).

Getting close

Less than two weeks left before I get on that jet to the States. Backing tracks and guitar are ready, I'm not sure I am yet!!! It's a weird feeling because it's a cross between sheer excitement and absolute apprehension. I'm really looking forward to seeing Brian and Kurt and their families and pray I won't become Mr. Shy like I sometimes do. I'm absolutely petrified of a long haul flight on my own, but I know that God will be with me. I feel truely honoured to be asked to play at Sanctuary church and Ragamuffins Coffee House and aim to share the music God has given me with them. I'm praying that many will be blessed by my visit and that I will remain a humble servant of God throughout. As I write I am facing a minor problem with transport to and frm the airport since my lift has managed to find a job and therefore can't take me anymore. So prayer into this would be a great help. Now ... I must go and practise.

Prayer for Steph

My sister-in-law, Steph has been in remission from cancer for a few years now. Steph is Jack's mum. Having felt unwell for some time now, she saw her specialist and received some bad news. She has been told that her cancer has returned, this time in her pelvis. She is very weak at the moment and having difficulties transfering from her chair to bed or bathroom. This has naturally caused much anxiety for her and the whole family with yet another period of uncertainty. She will undergo a course of chemotherapy sson following a follow-up scan to investigate a shadow on her lung. We are all feeling hopeful since she responded well to chemotheraphy the first time around. Having being given 3-6 weeks she is still fighting 3 years on. So please pray with me for Steph and the family. Noticeably Tamara and their mum, Betty who are her main carers. Also for Jack her little boy who lives with us. God knows our needs and every desire of our heart. I truely hope that I can praise Him through this storm and that we will see light at the end of dark spell.

Cross Rhythms - Rimmerama

Last night was a great experience on Rimmerama with Mike Rimmer. It was fantasic to see the inside of a radio station and I felt priviledged to have been invited to share with the Cross Rhythms audience. It was funny talking about gardens and cats, but brilliant to be able to share my testimony with so many people. I even got to sing three of my songs live. I performed Design For Life, Why? and I Believe in Love. I was accompanied by my good friend Nigel Halliday on Bodhran. Nigel was a brick all day and a real encouragement throughout the interview. Of course, I am so grateful to God for providing me with this marvellous opportunity. God is so good.

i-tunes digital delivery

Wow! All this still seems bizarre. First I get airplay on internet radio with Windy City Radio, then local radio with BBC Radio Lincolnshire..... and now..... i-tunes. You can now get Design For Life on i-tunes store. So if you're into downloading albums, follow the link in title of this blog entry.

Preparing for The States

Last week was an amazing week with the visit of J. Brian Hill and Kurt (the bouncer) Hermes to my home town Skegness. We had a fantastic time with gigs, family get togethers, songwriting, recording, workshops and generally getting to know each other, whilst sharing the Lord together. God has truly blessed us with this blossoming friendship. Now we are left quiet and missing our new friends, but I'm eagerly awaiting the return visit in May.Preparation begins in earnest now for the trip to Chicago. I've been busy preparing an official merchandise shop http://www.cafepress.com/stevelowndes so please check out the products, and let me know if you have any suggestions (I like the cuddly teddy bear) and I'm practicing like mad on new material and old. Dates to look out for in May if you live near the Chicago area are:Saturday, May 20th, 2006Ragamuffin Coffee House - http://www.ragamuffincoffee.com/Acoustic Session - 8:00pm1 W. Illinois St.,St. Charles, IL 60174US(630)377-7174A chance to see Steve live and acoustic. View mapandSunday, May 21st, 2006Sanctuary AoG Church - http://sanctuaryag.comConcert on the Hill - 18:001S430 Wenmoth Rd.Batavia, IL 60510United States630-879-0785Outdoor celebration. in the beautiful grounds of Sanctuary Church, Batavia, Illinois. USAI can't wait to visit Brain and Kurt in their home church.

Race For Life

Tamara (my wife) & Steph (her sister) are doing Race for Life to help raise awareness for Cancer Research UK. In 2003 Steph was given 6 months max after being diagnosed with Skin Cancer. By the grace of God she is still with us. She is now wheelchair bound. She not only had herself to fight for but her 3 year old son Jack. They are both aware of the traumas this disease can cause. So please pray for them & if you are able to, please contribute to help them raise awareness, awareness not just for people like them but for the thousands of other sufferers. The link to their fundraising site is http://www.raceforlifesponsorme.org/pages/?pid=306766